Remember how the Left had a lovefest with Taylor Swift because of all the people she registered to vote? Well as it turns out, more than half of them are either fake or ineligible to vote.

“It’s a bit embarrassing,” said Swift’s manager, Joe Barron, “The DNC paid us big bucks to put those names together. That means they ended up paying something like six bucks per vote.”

The entire situation is a testament to how we need to strengthen the voting system. Just like when they catch 80 tons of fentanyl and use it as a reason why we need to increase security to catch fentanyl traffickers.

“How many of the votes are illegals?,” asked US Representative Lauren Boebert, “I don’t need no illegals comin’ to my town and votin’ fraudulike.” Boebert is one of those who thinks apprehending more undocumented border crossers than ever before means that many people are getting welfare.

“Even if it was only half of the 15 million people she signed up,” said Jason Eisner, “Donald Trump is going to prison.” We’re not really sure who he is or why he felt the need to interject, but the message is important enough to disseminate after the fourth paragraph when taters have already lost their train of thought and moved on to a shiny ad based on their Google search criteria.

ALLOD Correspitulator Tara Newhole is off for the rest of the year, but we’ll still be using her name because she won the suspenders. IYKYK.

Grammarly tells me there’s way too much conversational English in this one, so it’s time for it to end. Happy Holidays.



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