He’s received the Presidential medal of freedom. He’s been broadcasting on the Excellence In Broadcasting network for decades. He regularly draws the highest audience in radio. He’s the mighty Rush Limbaugh. And this week, he’s been brought down by that which he’s always feared – The liberal media complex.
Limbaugh also has revealed that he fears the Michelin Man will outweigh him at CPAC.
According to Sandra Batt, head of propaganda information distribution at EIB headquarters in HappyQueef, New Jersey, Limbaugh and his continuous defense of the criminal activities of Donald Trump and condoning of the activities of his domestic terrorist followers has finally become a legal and moral cancer to the corporation, and is therefore being “excised.”
Limbaugh will record his final program of new material at the end of this week, and then sign off, leaving millions of fans to receive their ridiculous reasoning and excuses for the imploding GOP’s continuous blunders to other mentally handicapped or greed-motivated hosts like Sean Hannity and Mark Levin. Both wannabe professional liars have proven stupid enough to please the same audience of panting Alpo-drooling listeners.
Batt offered a sympathetic statement for all fans of the overweight junkie’s unique brand of horseshit.
“Look, we all know he doesn’t have much time left anyway. I always thought by the end, he’d come clean and just admit he only says what we pay him to say, but just yesterday, he suggested that the Georgia race was lost because Democrats en-masse MOVED to the state in order to overwhelm the election. Can you imagine? That’s just downright batshit insane. And his warbling yapping trash trumpers believed it! Well, it’s time for them to find another mouth to poop in. This one’s getting wired shut.”
Also getting wired shut – The fly on Tucker Carlson’s boxers by Fox News management. No more chances, Tuck.
Limbaugh has already made waves recently for selling the precious freedom medal bestowed upon him to a drug dealer last month. Let’s hope history will see him in a better light than it will the criminals and scum of the earth that he regularly twisted logic and reason in knots to defend. Megadildoes, sir.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
