Elon Musk is a lot of things. One of them is powerful. The world’s wealthiest man doesn’t just have a bunch of cash, he has a rocketship company. If anyone is qualified to deal with issues like Chinese spy balloons, it’s him.

“Next time it happens I’ll just take care of it, yeah?” Elon said as he spoke to the US Joint Chiefs of Staff live on Twitter, “I have something hovering up ther I’m sure we can use to snuff out some 1960s tech.”

Musk says the SpaceX GPS tracking system being installed to guide self-driving Teslas also has some fairly impressive offensive weaponry capabilities. “It’s nothing that could attack Earth, but in case someone gets froggy in my space hood, I have the right to defend myself, yeah?”

The US military has asked Musk not to intervene unless he absolutely has to, which, says Musk, will be “immediately” next time. “I can’t just let these things float on by taking pictures and not act. I’d be negligent as an American citizen.”

The last balloon made it all the way across the country before Biden finally ordered it shot down, probably because Hunter has some secret deal with them. Hopefully, Congress will open a full-scale investigation into why Musk wasn’t tapped to take it out in the first place. “He’s the best option we have,” said Space Force general Joe Barron, “but the commander-in-chief refuses to use him.”

That seems like dereliction of duty, patriots. Yet another good reason to start impeachment proceedings. God Bless America.


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