If you were to ask anyone in the Hollywood circuit who would be the first host of “The View” fired after the Tucker Carlson debacle, they would tell you, without a doubt, Whoopi Goldberg.

ABC execs have a different viewpoint, however, and have decided to instead do away with Sunny Hostin, citing her performance with the show’s audience.

“Sunny isn’t the best way to describe Ms. Hostin’s disposition,” said Executive Producer Joe Barron, “she’s more of a rainy day. With some flooding.”

Hostin hasn’t returned our request for comment but instead passed along the same attorney’s name as the one who got Ms. Goldberg that restraining order.

“Sunny doesn’t want to take Whoopi’s place on your stupid blog if the stories about her aren’t working as well anymore,” said Hostin’s best friend Sandy Batt, “You should probably move on to Joy. Or one of the other ones.”

Anna Navaro might work, and certainly, there’s a lot of animosity toward Joy, but just look at this picture we used. Tell me it doesn’t just scream Karen. It’s almost as if it was meant to be.

After the show’s run this season, Hostin will likely take the summer off and come back next season like nothing happened so we can write four more versions of this piece. God Bless you, and God Bless America.


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