Actress turned activist Alyssa Milano took to her Instagram account to cry…again. For what seems like the 806th time.

It seems that Ms. Milano is very shaken up about the writer’s strike and wants all of her fans to know that she’s not okay. “I just don’t know what to do,” she cried,” without my income I’ll be out on the street.”

As her fans began sending money to her Cash App account, one pointed out a rather disturbing fact: Milano hasn’t acted in 15 years.

“You were a Unicef ambassador who spent all her time lobbying Congress,” said JoeBarron2019, “Why are we all sending you money again?” The actress didn’t respond.

We reached out to our Hollywood correspondent, Skip Tetheludah, to see if he’s made any sense of the situation. According to Skip, there may be some confusion between how much Alyssa Milano works and how much conservative Americans believe she works.

“They think the last thing she did was Charmed,” said Tetheludah, “which is…just not even close to true. If you do a little searchy-search, you’ll find her IMDB profile has nearly 100 acting credits as well as 15 producing credits. She’s been in front of a camera in literally every year of this century so far.”

Unfortunately, that’s just not gonna cut it. Patriotic Americans know that she has no job, because there’s another story running around with this same image claiming”nobody will hire her.” Checkmate, Skip. God Bless America.


  1. Po Tater

    How does one come to write for such a bastion of freedom? Is there a sign up form somewhere?

  2. Michael Murphy

    Mr. Flagg Eagleton you are performing a valuable national service and whatever they are paying you isn’t enough.
    Yours is a dirty job and I’m so glad you’re doing it.
    Speaking satire to power is right there alongside speaking truth the the cornball bastards.
    Long may you wave!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *