Bass Pro Shops is the number one retailer of firearms and related accessories in the country. That includes, of course, gun safes.

The chain’s best seller and the producer of the safe with the “Cabela’s” name on it, the Liberty Safe Company, has, unfortunately, been cut from the roster at the sporting goods giant.

“Our customers demand privacy,” said Bass Pro Shops CEO Joe Barron, “Privacy isn’t something Liberty offers without signing all sorts of waivers, so Liberty can go sell their products elsewhere.”

The issue arose when it came to light that Liberty handed the combinations to customers’ safes to the FBI over a warrant stemming from the January 6 investigations. “Without a court order, there’s no reason those safes should have been breached.”

ALLOD Forensic Journalist Tara Newhole dug into the issue and found that Barron is correct. The FBI definitely needs a court order to search someone’s personal, concealed property.

“Of course, a warrant is literally a court order,” she said, “so it doesn’t really make sense that people are this upset.” Liberty also announced that customers could opt out of their services and keep their combination codes private. “These people aren’t real bright,” said Newhole, “so a bunch of them are about to lose their guns forever in their own safes, which is, quite frankly, hilarious.”

It is a little bit funny. Unless a zombie apocalypse happens. Then it’s juts a crying shame. God Bless America.

1 Comment



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *