Biden Blames Crime Spike on Trump

President Obama subtly blamed the financial crash and Iraq conflict quagmires on George W. Bush.  Donald Trump blamed nearly everything on Obama, from the blatant uptick in racism among his followers, to the decades-long cold war with North Korea.  Now it seems it’s time for the current commander in chief to pass the proverbial buck.

As has been widely reported by Fox News, but unverified as of yet by any legitimate or accredited news gathering source, crime under the Biden administration has apparently skyrocketed.  Just yesterday, reports flew in about desperate youths in Cincinnati breaking into houses for fidgit spinners, and criminals in Texas pretending to be Senators in order to have sex freely with Styrofoam cups.  No names were mentioned, Ted Cruz.

Biden’s spokesperson for the Department of Gin and Juice, Sandy Batt, elaborated.

“Who keeps our streets safe?  Batman does.  We all know that.  During the Obama years, Christian Bale did a marvelous job.  Then came Donald Trump.

For that time, we’ve depended on the guy who threatened women in a mall with anal sex in Volkswagons and chased a lesbian around like an idiot.  There you have it, really.  Will Biden’s pick of a former vampire boy and magical school martyr ease the situation?  Hey, couldn’t be worse.”

Speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi also remarked that it was during Obama’s time that X-Man Wolverine was still alive, and passed away, unfortunately, during the administration of the twice-impeached diarrhea trolley, noted anal-bleach enthusiast Trump.

It’s a probably certainty that Fox and other conservative broadcasting networks aren’t simply inventing the allegation because many of their sponsors are gun manufacturers, gun safe businesses, and home security systems for white people.