It looks like the 2020 campaign is moving into an arena battle between the two candidate’s medical professionals, gladiators in the media, lashing out to inform the public about who will better serve to respond to America’s deadly pandemic.

In the Trump corner is Stella Immanuel, a pediatrician who believes that lizard people rule the world, illness can be caused by dream-sex with demons and the toxicity of their infernal sperm, and she’s cured hundreds of Coronovirus infections using a disproven and improperly tested drug from her office in a strip mall.  With dozens of weeble-like helmet-wearing supporters, Immanuel drew first blood recently, after her video was re-tweeted by the impeached President, and then promptly banned from social media so that groups of Trump’s F-student supporters wouldn’t poison themselves.


Standing up for Joe Biden is well-known physician Dr. Andre “Dre” Young, who, although not technically a medical doctor, has far more years of experience and is, frankly, a far more reliable source than Trump’s Jesus voodoo priestess.  CDC Compton Office Head Sandy Batt asked Dre what he though about what should be done about the pandemic response:

“Doctor, have you seen the video by Dr. Immanuel and what do you think about her diagnoses?”

“Yeah.  That bitch remind of that witch lady on that show ‘True Blood’ awhile back.  Remember that?  With the vampires and shit?  Yeah, that’s some crazy shit.”

“Yes.  But do you think her advice and glassy-eyed endorsement of hydroxychloroquine, a debunked ‘miracle cure’ is helpful to America or the colossally stupid President?”

“I think ya’ll better vote for Biden if y’all muthafuckahs wanna actually LIVE is what I think.  Trump know about the same about this virus as Eazy knew about rubbers.  And you know that’s nothin’. ”

“Loved you in XXX 2, by the way.”

“That was Cube, lady.  Damn, I’m done here.”

“Deep Blue Sea, then.  Got eaten by a shark.  Marvelous.”

(String of several profanities).

The interviewer’s life was saved by the Doctor’s early departure as the next words in her mouth were “Passenger 57.”

Young has agreed to appear at several Biden 2020 rallies in the future, and if the hype behind his name is any indication, they’ll be jam-packed events.  Interested fans seeking tickets are asked to pick up a pair of Beats headphones for a discounted admission price.


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