Joe Biden says Trump put him “in grave danger” when he walked onto that debate stage, probably positive for COVID-19.

According to sources close to the Biden campaign who may or may not have direct knowledge of the suit, the former Vice President wants to be compensated for “the unnecessary risk” imposed on him by Donald Trump:

“Mr Biden wants to make sure that if he contracts the disease because Trump is an idiot that he can continue his campaign from…any hospital but Walter reed.

“He feels as though Trump is what he calls ‘a pimple on the ass of a baboon’ and that if he has to suffer for ‘that simpleton’ than he should suffer comfortably.”

The Trump campaign has basically had its mouth shut since Friday, because they all look pretty stupid right about now, but when they do finally come around, they’ll most definitely take responsibility for all of this, and none of it will be Trump’s fault.

The President himself remains in good spirits. He took a little ride in an SUV that might cost some folks their lives and signed some blank pieces of paper. All is well in the Office of the President of the United States.

And so that’s that.

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