Garth Brooks continues to be the least popular guy in country music. After he decided to disrespect his own fans by calling them “a-holes,” his career has gone downhill at lightning speed.

In yet another crushing blow, his good friend and “Dive Bar” co-writer Blake Shelton has decided to cut ties and walk away from a project that would have netted the pair $20 million each.

“He’s not a very popular guy anymore,” said Shelton’s spokesman, Joe Barron, “Blake has a reputation to look after. Garth doesn’t. He had no choice but to cancel the tour.”

Brooks wasn’t available for comment, but sources close to the former country legend say he feels betrayed by Shelton and will likely need to sit on a rock and cry while he writes a nice ballad about it.

“I swear that’s all the guy knows how to do is write nice songs and cry,” said George. I’m not really sure who he even is anymore,” Francesca added with a snort, the way she often does. “If I was Garth Brooks, I’d leave America,” chimed in some other dude who was probably trying to sniff Angela’s hair.

“All in all, we’re not really sure what’s going on,” said ALLOD Entertainment Specialisticator Tara Newhole, “It started with like three weeks worth of writer’s block, and now Flagg’s just writing nonsense about Del Taco.”

This reporter isn’t really sure what Newhole’s issue is, but if she has issues with taking work from America’s Last Line of Defense, she can go work with Candace Owens. God Bless America.


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