They have been saying “Go woke, go broke” for some time now, but it looks like MGM studios is ignoring the risks and committing fully to a whole new, dare we say it, BALL game.

After an extensive search through Hollywood’s finest, the studio and it’s partners have agreed on transgender actor Elliot Page, formerly of Netflix’s hit multi- season program The Umbrella Academy, to take over the reigns of British superspy agent “James Bond.”

Page was reportedly very excited to play the character, having grown up with the various incarnations of him for most of his adult life.  His casting was : “A dream come true.”

Sandy Batt, the associate vice president and assistant to the regional manager of MGM studios spoke a bit about Page’s selection as the brand’s newest representative.

“Let me just get my pronouns straight here.  I think they, Page, will absolutely knock it out of the park in the role.  They’re young, handsome, in shape, and well poised to make their mark on the world.”

Page’s debut as Bond will be in the upcoming 2024 release of Blood In, Blood Out, based on the novel by Ian Fleming.  In the film, Bond is contracted to take out villain “Ronald Chump”, a morbidly obese dictator with his eyes on the American Presidency.

“Joanie Loves Chachi” actor Scott Baio is being considered for the role.

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