The health and well-being of the brain is no laughing matter. Just ask Ellie from the HBO dream series The Last of Us.
Well, talk show host and actress Whoopi Goldberg has been acting oddly peculiar as of late, and after a preliminary examination, a prominent Hollywood doctor has determined that the problem may not simply lie with her liberal politics and activism.
“In this case, the ‘liberalism’ may actually, seriously be a brain disorder,” says Dr. Joeseph Barron, M.D., P.H.D., C.S.I of the Ten Forward Medical Center in Queefblastery, California. “Whoopi is experiencing some aberrations that may not be completely in her control and urgently needs surgery.”
The doctor points to her outspoken rants as symptoms of a disorder known as Cerebral Gremolata, a condition in which a small collection of goopy garlicky fluid builds up along the brain’s medulla oblongata. Normally, the gremolata is benign in a healthy brain.
“In Whoopi’s case, however, her appearances in terribly bad movies after The Color Purple and the constant business of working on The View have no doubt exasperated the condition. She needs a very comprehensive brain delousing.”
The surgery is fairly safe, so Goldberg’s condition isn’t yet life-or-death. But ignoring the situation could lead to a full-fledged Epidural Aioli. And that would be in questionable taste.
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