Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered all of former President Donald Trump’s holdings in Russia seized and auctioned off to the highest bidder to “help pay the high price of freedom for the Ukrainian people. The announcement comes just days after Trump switched his position on Putin from “genius” to “ruthless dictator.”

Polls suggested the change, and Trump was more than eager to comply. He’s a man of the people, after all. Putin’s seizure of Trump’s holdings in Russia won’t stop America from being great. Trump said he’s not concerned, and that while he’s against Puitin, he hopes the cheaters in Ukraine who stole the server that cost him the 2020 election are brought to justice.

“It’s a terrible thing,” the former president told ALLOD’s Flagg Eagleton, “You have this war, and you have the people. And in some cases, the people don’t even know what people are who? Sleepy Joe has the whole thing a mess. And then you have the servers. So many. So many. And Ukraine wants to keep them all.”

Trump referred us to his new Chief Financial Officer, Art Tubolls, ESQ, for a clarification on exactly what Putin took. Trump said “it doesn’t matter if he bankrupts me. My people will always come through. My people. Mine.”

Putin says he’s seriously not kidding about this. He has the pee-pee tape.

Tubolls said Trump’s holdings in Russia are much like his holdings in the US: Fairly non-existent. “Vlad added about $298 million in debt if he calls those notes due,” said the new guy at Trumpco. “I don’t know how he pays me, honestly.”

We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.

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