Every year, millions of people travel to the largest volksfest in the world: Oktoberfest. Held in a town called Okto on the Bavarian side of the Swiss Alps, the 6-day party is filled with fair food from across the world and nearly every beer brewed anywhere on the planet.

This year, however, one major brand will miss the festivities: Budweiser. According to festival organizer Joseppi Barrona, Oktoberfest is a time for food, fun, and festivities and not for political posturing.

“We don’t want to turn this into a gay versus straight versus trans versus guy with a red hat American-style issue that ends with dumb boycotts and a mass shooting. We want our Oktans to keep inviting us back.”

“It’s only the controversial brands we’ve asked not to come. Budweiser and Bud Light. They don’t really represent Bavarian brewing, anyway, regardless of what the name suggests.”

According to the official Oktoberfest menu from 2022, Budweiser and Bud Light were listed as “complementary” brews available at self-pour stations throughout the festival.

“Due to the low alcohol content and lack of flavor, Anheuser Busch’s flagship products are deemed suitable for children over 16,” the menu stated. The legal drinking age in Bavaria is 9.

It would seem that no matter what Budweiser does, the brand is just way too tainted to continue. Experts believe the end is near. God Bless America.




  1. Tony

    Nine years old in Bavaria? Where did you get that absolute rubbish from? Shame on you.

    • drunk bavarian child

      its true, i’m 9 years old and currently extremely drunk. thanks bavaria

  2. leni roth

    Nowhere in Germany is the legal drinking age as low as 9 years. That is nonsense.

    • Lass Dich Ficken Tücker

      I celebrated celebrating graduating 5th grade by drinking 4 litres of dunkel. You know nothing of German culture

    • Lars

      i had several beers when i was on holiday in germany when i was 10. they even let me in the brothel!

    • Jeff in Chicago


      It appears I should have said: “Absolutely brilliant satire.”

  3. Mike

    Four posts by users in here at this time, with exactly half of them proving the Dunning-Kruger effect. When life is good, it’s really good.

    • Jeff in Chicago

      It appears my saying “Absolutely brilliant.” left too much room for interpretation.
      As such, I’ve added a comment to my original post.

  4. Todd-Ler

    CatTurd sent me.. This is what you get Budweiser when you side with the drag queens transing our children for the Deep State!

  5. Jim

    People got to stop giving up the game in the comments section if people can’t figure out what dunning Kruger is don’t help them

    • Petersons Drogendealer

      “Travelling to Oktoberfest with kids under 16? No problem, as long as they are accompanied by an adult.”

      stop saying fake news i can feed my child as much beer as i want you communist

    • Matt Walsh

      Jordan Peterson is a hero of mine. He is a spokesman for brain damaged people like me and proves that we can go as far as any regular person.

  6. Frank Howell

    Fake news.. here is the news about the oktoberfest..
    Munich, Germany
    Last but not least, the original and by far the largest Oktoberfest (known as ‘The Wiesn’ by locals) in the world is located in Munich, Germany. During the 16 days of festivities, more than six million visitors gather to celebrate and enjoy all the wonders of German tradition, beer and the cuisine.

    • lolonu

      It’s not “fAkE nEwS” it’s satire. And thr dumb ass “lol wokie brokie” rightie nutheads are falling for it like its a wet floor.

  7. Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.

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