Garth Brooks sold out every single seat of his Vegas residency at Caesar’s Palace. He had it made. It looked like the venue would go for at least another year or two with a huge contract.

Then, Brooks called his fans assholes and sided with Bud Light over American values, and it all went downhill. He lost recording contracts, got disinvited to shows, had the MC job at the CMAs stripped from him, and now…Caesar’s is canceling him for good.

“He just doesn’t have the draw,” said Caesar’s Entertainment Director Joe Barron, “His shows have been ghost towns. He’s playing for practically nobody.

Brooks will finish his last set this week and pack it up, according to his wife. “They don’t know what they’re giving up,” she said, “Garth is one of the nicest guys I know.” Coming from Yearwood, that really means something.

Brooks will most likely bow out of music altogether and says he’s considering transitioning and giving women’s swimming a try. “The way to fame and fortune these days is to get yourself noticed by Riley Gaines,” Brooks told ALLOD Musicalistic Correspondent Tara Newhole, “by this time next year, the Sportsball Correspondent in you will want a word.”

His plan is a bit extreme but not impossible. The NCAA is currently recruiting men to swim as women, according to the comment section at OAN’s Facebook page, so there should be plenty of opportunity.

If anyone deserves a shot at the gold, it’s Garth Brooks. God Bless America.

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