In what appeared to be an epic, or even epoch incident, Candace Owens fired herself from Ben Shapiro’s tiny little podcast with “The Daily Mail”, his once popular media network.  Shapiro was visibly upset at the time, and may have been menstruating, producers claimed off the record.

Joseph Barron, an underpaid intern who was present at the time of the explosion gave the scoop to Patriot Party Press’s own Art Tubolls.

“Candace has had problems in the past with antisemitic remarks and attitudes.  She has four swastikas tattooed on her, and listens to music by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, all of which is a red flag for Nazi.”

Barron went on after swallowing his gum in fear, just thinking about it.

“Anyway, she said a lot of things about Israel and the Palestinians and then implied that they were dealing with a dry spell worse than even Ben and his wife.  Ben didn’t like that, and told her to get the f*ck out.”

Owens was unemployed for nearly two hours when she received a phone call from Douchebag Productions, the operators of Tucker Carlson’s popular programming.  She was offered a starting co-host gig with the conservative cockmaster, to be followed by her own show later.

At a sizeable salary of nearly seventeen cents per hour, it looks like Owens is primed for a comeback.  Just as long as she isn’t swayed away by some rich Jew.


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