One of the most popular pundits on cable news has been unceremoniously fired this week, after her parent network, One America News, was deluged with calls charging her with racism and “hate speech.”  During a segment of her show critiquing the Democratic national convention, the dusky conservative spitfire referred to Vice Presidential candidate Kamala Harris as a “fake black.”

This is worse than when John Bolton was fired for being a fake Orville Redenbocker.

Owens is no stranger to controversy, previously angering American Jews and Israelis with favorable talk about Adolf Hitler.  The fiery former pornography fluffer told Sandy Batt of Inside Trumptards magazine that her comments were strictly opinion and that OAN’s purpose isn’t news, but simply fictional entertainment for those even too stupid for Fox News.

“Like President Trump, I speak my mind.  And like his majesty, I take absolutely no responsibility for it.  I’m black.  I’m like the one single black that conservatives like because they think that makes them non-racist.  Go ahead, ask some tattered granny in West Methpipe, Alabama, to name a black person she likes.  The 50% of the time they don’t say my name, it’s gonna be Sammy Davis Junior.

So it’s probably a bad idea to fire me.  They’re already going nuts trying to believe that Kamala is black.  Who are they gonna replace me with?  Diamond and Silk?

Old white men can’t masturbate to those two linebackers.  Now go buy my book.  You can just leave it on the coffee table for when your grandkids stop by after doing something super Caucasian like shopping at Pier One Imports.”

Candace Owens would like to point out that she is so black, she’s never come within 500 feet of a Whole Foods.

Network executives have long been fielding demands to let go of Owens, and are reportedly overjoyed about the news of her departure.  Several members of her former camera crew celebrated with a cake shaped like the talking head herself dressed and posed as infamous feline chef Carol Baskin.

Although many will be upset by the news of her shitcanning, it shouldn’t be long before Owens finds another outlet for her idiotic opinions and banter.  Hey Candace – There’s always The Blaze.


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