Kim Jong-Un, Dear Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, and one of President Donald Trump’s bestest friends forever was nearly dead at the young age of 36.  The official cause of death should have been listed as failed socialist health care, but we have found that the actual cause of death would have been Hillary Clinton.

Still enraged by losing in a landslide to Trump in 2016, Hillary Clinton has been looking for any and every way to sabotage our great President.  The best way is to sabotage the peace process that Trump has made great strides in achieving.  Ordinarily, this is confined to using the massive arm of her fraudulent foundation to commit acts of domestic terrorism.  This is a new and scary development, showing that she is capable of reaching to literally anywhere in the world.

A recent parade in Pyongyang showed what looked to be a bloody and bruised 80-year-old female American prisoner being led down Kim Jong-Il Street in downtown.  Keen observer Tiffany Langwellington identified her as Sandy Batt, long time former CIA operative and hella good birthday cake baker at a local bakery near the In-N-Out Burger off of Interstate 10 in California.

“Sandy baked a cake for me last week.  It was Logan’s third birthday and that cake was so good.  She told me she was going on a business trip and promised Logan that she’d bring him back a special poster.  How’s Logan going to get his poster now?  Did she leave her recipes with anyone?  My birthday’s coming up and I want a cake too!”

Poor little Logan isn’t going to get his propaganda poster.  Poor little Tiffany won’t get her birthday cake.  And Hillary Clinton will continue to be emboldened.  She won’t stop until she has taken over the world.  We need to find ethical and moral people brave enough to bring her to justice.  Bless and protect our great President and let God’s hands guide him to bring peace throughout the world.


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