Although rap artist and former child convict Tom MacDonald didn’t think his newest song “Facts” with commentator Ben Shapiro would be much of a hit, it went ahead and reached way into the stratosphere.

The song, who’s video consists of the pair of eunichs rapping in a darkened warehouse before finally dropping and raping cardboard paper towel tubes, appears to be a commentary on the usual conservative complaints, such as rap music, and paper towel tubes dressing seductively.

According to the federal bureau of investigation, the song has hit number one on the “audio crap we use to force criminals out” list, breaking the previous record by “any Red Hot Chili Peppers” track.

Federal agent Sanders Batt commented yesterday on the hideous piece of horse manure.

“Yeah, so far we’ve coaxed out seventeen suspects from drug houses and hiding spots with that abomination.  Eleven of them died, begging to be shot before the song finished.  Five of those were self-inflicted.”

“Can’t say as I blame them,” he commented.

The song has also reached number one on I-Tunes, which doesn’t really mean much because it just came out and is getting dragged like a bag of Taylor Swift’s money across the internet.  Also, far more people listen to it because of the publicity being so negative about it.

“I’ve heard it, yes,” says local ham welder Tara Newhole.  “It sounds like two bears farting into coffee cans and then pissing all over a plastic pool cover.”

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