The Burisma executive who gave the Department of Justice its information on Hunter Biden has been identified by officials in Kyiv as the body floating in the River Ukraine.

The problem with that is that the deceased, Serjerei Sanduskovich, is supposed to be serving a 10-year sentence in the country’s Muscovan Correction Facility, also known as “The Vault.”

“There is no way out of The Vault,” said Ukrainian Security Minister Joe Barron, “we can only assume that Sanmduskovich was removed by bad actors and executed.”

The former executive provided more than 200 pages of sworn testimony against Hunter Biden in order to receive a reduced sentence. The family has asked for privacy during this difficult time.

According to Hunter Biden’s spokesman, Art Tubolls, the 200 pages weren’t so much “testimony” as they were a “screw you” to prosecutors. “In reality, it’s a copy of the screenplay to Leaving Las Vegas,” he told ALLOD Correspondent Skip Tetheludah, “with a Rickroll for the bibliography.”

After some investigation, we learned that nothing in the first four paragraphs of this piece is technically “true.” That doesn’t, however, mean that people don’t hope and pray that it’s true, because the death of a human being they see as disposable might help them own the libs on Xitter later.

It’s all part of a wonderful cycle of completely irrelevant deflections from the crimes of others. God Bless America.


  1. michael janney

    that is Jerry Sandusky from his pedo court case when he worked as a coach with Penn State University. that is not the vp of burisma! this is wrong!!!!! you need to change your picture. i live in pa and my kids were at penn state when this went down

  2. fredn

    No, you are wrong. That is the VP.

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