Disney can’t seem to keep its focus where it belongs: the children. Since the introduction of the first motion cartoon in 1931, The Walt Disney Company has wowed kids from across the globe. More than 100 years later, unfortunately, the outfit lost its way.

Disney Cruise Liners, which controls nearly half the “big ship” market with more than 11 dozen cruises weekly, will now feature a “family-friendly” drag show on each of its trips.

Disney’s Vice President of Seafaring Operations, Joe Barron, says the decision was a no-brainer:

“It’s 2023. Unless you’re a knuckle-dragging MAGA freak still wqearing a dumb red hat and waving the flag of a traitor, you want to see these shows. They’re light-hearted, funny, and in no way sexual. Men performing drag has been around for thousands of years.”

Disney also announced that attendance at the shows would be mandatory, as they’ll be performing during most meals and intend to broadcast each over the closed circuit television.

Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) says he intends to put a stop to Disney any way he can, which didn’t seem to amount to much. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis also seems powerless to stop them.

“As it turns out,” said Barron, “we can pretty much do whatever the hell we want with our ships and our itinerary.” Disney stock plummeted nearly 7 points at the news, but Barron says he’s confident it will bounce right back.

 

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