It’s the Happiest Place in the World, supposedly.  But now, thanks to its parent company Disney Inc., the Land of the Mouse is closing house, and Florida will forever be a little less…Florida.

Disney’s huge resort complex in Orlando Florida is finishing it’s run, closing for the last time since it’s founding in 1971.  It’s long and storied history has included opening amazing attractions and parks such as Animal Planet, Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge, and Indiana Jones’s Big Bouncing Ball ride.

The famous Epcot center will be going first, shuttering the stores and restaurants by mid-April.  Disney is currently looking into a buyer for thousands of tons of steel and dozens of electric-powered vehicles.  There are also quite a few “For Sale” jetpacks, courtesy of the Sandra Batt corporation.

Disney’s CFO and Land Management Operator Luis Colon told us that the heat brought down by governor Ron DeSantis had become too much.

“At Disney, we’re very grateful for the time we’ve had in the state of Florida.  However, dealing with such a monumental ass-blasting cocktard like Mr. DeSantis is just way too much.  We’re a non cocktard environment.”

Shown : Mickey becomes very upset when told that his wife’s litter was eaten by a cat.

Colon is probably referring to the legislation that takes over Disney’s board of directors by inserting absolute morons into it.  Just yesterday, they held a vote on changing Mickey Mouse to “Trumpy Shiteater”.

What does the future hold for Disney next?  Management is heavily hunting at moving the entire park to Hawaii.  That sounds like a group of great alohas to come.


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