Walt Disney, Inc lost more than $2.4 billion in less than two days, according to an article in this publication. The company, reeling after deciding to go “woke,” will most likely need to ask the SEC to intervene and stop trading.

President Joe Biden says the stock selloff seems to be a coordinated effort to attack the company for it’s political views, vowing to use emergency FEMA funds to bail the flailing corporate giant out.

Disney, often considered too big to fail, would leave a hole so big in Florida’s tourist sector that Governor Ron DeSantis would never be elected to anything ever again, since that dumb bill that targets things that don’t actually happen caused all this outrage to begin with.

Universal Studios Florida is already offering to buy everything but Epcot, because “quite frankly, it’s the dumbest park,” according to Elon Musk’s new secretary at Twitter.

God Bless America.

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