Billionaire Genius and advocate of free speech, Elon Musk, says a car that runs on water is a sure thing. After dismissing hydrogen as a viable fuel source, Musk said he instructed scientists to work on a car powered by water alone.

“Water has qualities other liquids don’t,” Musk said, “That in and of itself gives it a simple yet unique utilization. Our team will find a way to power a vehicle with it, mark my words.”

The idea of a water-based vehicle isn’t new, but until now, the best idea was to use pressurized air to force H2O through a small exit in a tank, propelling it in a given direction. “It’s been in use for generations, we just don’t know how to harness it without running out and getting everything around it wet.”

Musk says those issues are a thing of the past, as his newest technology, called “Neutrogenic Triptiosis Stegiotomy,” which is largely a collection of invented words to express an idea, will actually convert water to fuel that could fire an internal combustion engine…without combustion.

Just imagine a wave of water running through an engine spinning the shafts and making things go. To have that power without heat to exhaust would mean cars would run cooler and with a little bit of glycol, would never run out of fuel again.

Government regulators are skeptical, stating that there are “no credible drawings” for such an engine and that Musk is “probably smoking crack again like when he ‘bought’ Twitter.” Musk says the government mentioning the Twitter deal violates his rights and now the deal is officially off.

That’s Elon, patriots. Always one step ahead of the pack.

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