Protest Riot at Euro-Disney Leaves 6 Dead, 14 Injured

It’s bound to happen sooner or later, so get used to that headline, with the sad exception of cutting off the “Euro” part.

Just yesterday, the euronews was filled with photos of gendarmes and policia and whatever the hell else the cops get called in those countries as a protest/riot broke out at the entrance to the EuroDisney theme park, leaving 6 dead and 14 injured in its wake.

The Disney police force was immediately on the case, spraying down rioters at first with seltzer bottles full of ICEE, “The Coldest Drink in Town!”.  When the several dozen Trump-supporting dipshits who started the conflagration shook that off, authorities moved to squirt, Nerf, and finally potato guns to keep the peace.

Sandra Batt, an associate of victim Jon Evans told channel ABC 6 her experience of what had happened.

“We had just gotten in the park, and Jon was looking for a snack bar when the shooting started.  Jon ran towards Montagnue Espace, which is restaurant language for ‘Space Mountain.’  He tripped and a little hook got him by the mouth and dragged him up.”

“I heard him go around the first and second times, but he shot off on the third and went straight into one of those “Small World” boat rides.  The water just dissolved him instantly.  That stuff is like 80 percent insect urine.”

Much of the blame for the riot falls squarely on the skinny shoulders of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and the swarms of hideously garbage-minded twatsticks who believe that Disney is suddenly staffed with “groomers” or some shit they made up.

Evans was just one of the victims, and most are still being identified.  Stay tuned for more updates to this story while we make it up completely as it goes along.