Multi-million album selling country music star Garth Brooks has made the news lately, and not for the best of reasons.  Apparently, “Chris Gaines” has been bitten by the woke bug, and happily announced that his Nashville bar would serve troubled brew Bud Light and that trans and LGBTQ patrons were more than welcome.

None of those statements sat very well with the nuveau conservative crowd, who has, and is, doing consistently well at denying all recognition of “otherhood”, change, or tolerance of pure humanity.  And now that blunder has hit his pocketbook.

His newest pub opening in Queefblastery, Tennessee, Garth Brooks’ Swallow It! is already losing money after the big opening weekend draw of dozens of people, far from the hundreds expected.

Brooks and his drink-slinging partner Joe Barron were mystified by the near silence in the brand new 80-seater, and local bar officianado and alcoholic mail carrier Cliff Calvin offered his explanation.

“It’s not really a place where everybody knows your name.  The jukebox only has Garth Brooks songs, which suck, and ‘Paradise By the Dashboard Lights’, which I believe is a legal requirement.  I mean, totally gay.”

And the Bud Light?  That may be chasing the customers away as well.

So far, the establishment has lost over ten thousand dollars in it’s opening, but the Music Man is undeterred.

“I’m planning on getting some great drag shows in here, and maybe valet parking,” he says.  “That’ll really make the place fabulous.”


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