George Strait has finally come out with a definitive opinion about Garth Brooks. Strait, a bonafide country legend, has remained quiet on the subject…until now.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead on stage with him nowadays,” said Williams Jr, “Every time he steps out the crowd boos. He had to cancel his Vegas residency over it. I’ll get on stage with him when pigs fly.”

According to Guinness, Brooks now holds the world record for most ex-fans who will still pay to see him just so they can boo. Milli Vanilli previously held the honor. For Brooks, it’s just another failure in his waning career.

“He’s probably gonna hang it up and move on,” said spokesman Joe Barron, “He’s got like eleventy billion dollars.”

Strait is the latest in a long line of country artists who have joined the movement to hate on Garth Brooks. “He did it to himself,” said Alan Jackson’s neighbor Jerry, “and if there wasn’t that stupid restraining order I’d run over and tell Alan to tell you himself.”

Jerry is a brave American who loves his country and despises Garth Brooks. “He wouldn’t denounce Bud Light,” he said with a tear in his eye, “and now I can never listen to Achy Beaky Heart again.”

Billy Ray Cyrus was too busy fondling a girl who played his daughter’s friend in middle school years ago to respond, but his spokesman, Joe Barron, says he’s honored to be mentioned in print at all. God Bless America.

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