Queen Elizabeth the Second is currently celebrating her platinum jubilee, a gala event in Great Britain, drawing the greatest and most notable figures worldwide.

Some would disagree, however, since many specifically American conservatives and right-wing voices have again been silenced.  Musician Kid Rock, for example, was barred from the party.  So was Scott Baio, Ann Coulter, and Fox News talking head Joe Barron, host of the popular Grin and Barron…It program.

Popular personality Ted Cruz was invited, but bowed out after shitting, pissing, and vomiting on himself simultaneously on the plane.

The greatest insult, perhaps, is that of Donald Trump and his family’s erasure from the who’s-who list of high rollers and grand mightymucks.  After making the trip to the old country and landing at Queef Air Force Base in Dingleham, Melania, Eric, Don Jr., Jared Kushner, Ivanka, and the Man Himself were told to turn around and head back.

“This am ridiculous,” said Eric Trump while habitually tapping his tardhelmet.  “We am big star people with money and bump bellies.  Why no make us for go party time fun?”

Brother Donald Jr. helped his sibling out of the small child-sized “zoom car” he enjoys driving around in and addressed the cameras there.

“He’s right.  Snffff.  Where da white women and booze and eight balls at that I was told would be here?  I been sober for damn near six minutes already.   Think that’s a record.  Come on, limeys.  Snffff.”

Cocaine or no, the troupe was turned away with a simple statement by her Majesty herself, declaring : “No riff raff, dipshits, or insurrection orchestrators please, and thank you.”  Melania was visibly livid after someone explained the statement to her.

God save the Queen.




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