Whoopi Goldberg has been a constant source of embarrassment and apology for ABC television, so much, that’s it’s a wonder they haven’t yet gotten around to firing her.

As the lead host of their flagship talkshow The View, Goldberg often comments heavily on subjects for which she has little to no experience.  She’s currently embroiled in seven lawsuits, two of which, are being brought by innocent double murder suspect Kyle Rittenhouse.

Well, just yesterday, police arrived at the Goldberg mansion in Queef’s Landing, California, and placed Goldberg under arrest for violating the libel laws of the United States.  Arresting officer Sandra Batt told us all about it.

“Miss Goldberg should have stuck to bartending non-alcoholic drinks in space.  Libel laws affect those people that she’s lied about and told nasty rumors detailing.  Or something.  You know, come to think of it, that’s just in writing.  We may have erred.”

The libel suit was brought against her en masse by the Organization For Patriotic Potatriots, a confederation of super racist conservative Republicans.  Who don’t exactly know what “libel” means, or how to spell it, for that matter.

Lawyers for the talker laughed and pounded the table for the case, and dreamt about how much richer Whoopi was going to be after she sued the police department.


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