Internet inventor, bio-ecologist, heavy thinker, Vice President. Al Gore certainly wears a lot of hats.
After his devastating victory in 2000 when the United States Supreme Court chose who would be our leader, Gore has cooled his jets ever since, and has been concentrating on smaller jobs like fixing the environment and saving the planet.
However, This whole time, he’s been quietly testing the waters for a second Presidential run, and today, from the balcony of his 100,000 mile ketchup ranch in Queeficane, Florida, announced that he will be representing the Green party in 2024 for the position.
According to family friend and confidant Sandy Batt, Gore is massively excited to hit the old trail again and possibly act as a massive wake-up blumpkin for Donald Trump in the 2024 contest.
“He knows that a lot of Democrats won’t want to vote for Biden or Harris again since they’re both communist socialist Marxists, and will be more likely to vote for a moldy gas station egg salad sandwich than Trump. He plans to be that egg salad sandwich.”
Gore plans to run on a platform of environmentalism, boosting the economy to record levels through his “everyone is suddenly a dentist” initiative, and using air horns and trained wasps at his rallies so that less people fall asleep from his hypnotic sleep-inducing voice.
Gore started in soon after the announcement.
“Thank you all, thank you so much. What I’m really hoping to accomplish here is to”
At this point, staffers for Tater Force One fell asleep in their seats and were gently covered up by aides. Two reporters for the local rival Fox network actually passed away due to unrelated scabies.
SCABIES IS WOKE!