We all knew it was going to happen.  When conservative chillionaire Elon Musk took over the social media platform Twitter, it was only a matter of time until the liberal celebrity boycott began.

Popular special needs child Brian Kilmeade says he will still use Twitter as long as he has crayons.

And began it has.  Space bartender and “Hot To Trot” megastar Whoopi Goldberg is leading the way, calling a press conference early this morning and announcing her compliance in a Twitter-less society.

“I am cancelling my Twitter account, everybody, so don’t bother Tweeting me.  Anyone who wants to stay in touch or continue to receive updates about The View or be privy to my top 10 newest nicknames for Donald Trump will just have to write me in the snail mail.  The Oranga-Hooker-Banger.  That one’s free.”

Goldberg also put out a press release through her production company Sandy Batteries Productions, essentially echoing the same point, but with colorful little swirly drawings in the margins.

On Twitter, the huge Ultra-star has millions of followers, many of whom say they will follow her on Facebook as well as talk to her visage on rented versions of her smash movie “Theodore Rex.”

But not “Call me Claus.” That one’s just too meaningful and important.

Many however, like Saul Queefingwind of Latex Cousin, Tennessee, say they’re devastated.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her daily tweets and photos of her ugly cat.  I guess all I can do is hope Elon Musk will be electrocuted by a Tesla battery.”

1 Comment



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *