Budweiser has reportedly lost its place as the King of Beers. According to a list published recently by a fair and reputable purveyor of information, Budweiser will appear at number 10 when this week’s list of top-selling beers comes out.

The list, published every Sunday by BD. Loverafters and Associates, is the beer industry’s standard for sales ranking. For the first time in 60 years, Budweiser and Bud Light wont be at the top.

Not only are they not at the top, but they’re barely in the top 10, coming in right before Red Stripe in that 10th position. If Bud falls out of the top 10, the independent financing Logan set up will default and they can call the whole $3 billion due.

It would seem that partnering with a transgender person wasn’t such a good idea. Anheuser Busch is in shambles, depending on which part of the Bud Light Multiverse you’re currently engaged with. One plane of existence has Augustus Anheuser, who looks suspiciously like Jerry Sandusky, firing his entire marketing department before resigning himself in the wake of $800 million in losses.

It’s a sad story that surely could have been avoided had this not been such an easy sell to the average potato. God bless America.

3 Comments

    • MABEL JOHNSON

      IMPOSSIBLE! IS EVERYONE SUPPOSED TO BECOME SOBER? LOL!

  1. Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.

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