“Sound of Freedom” and “Passion of the Christ” star Jim Caviezel turned down a lucrative role that would have only taken hours to film for one reason and one reason alone: Robert DeNiro was also cast for the scene.

“I won’t work with him,” said Caviezel, “He’s an awful, ungodly man. Plus it gets really awkward talking to him face-to-face knowing he’s wearing 6-inch platform shoes.”

DeNiro, for those living under rocks, has been on the radar lately for his disparaging comments toward former President Donald Trump. “He’s a tiny little man,” said Trump, “He has no idea how good we did. We did so good. And there was more good than there was good when Obama was there let me tell you. That was no good. No good at all.”

Caviezel says he supports Trump’s blathering because he’s been chosen by God to lead America. Mel Gibson agreed, but mostly because Trump isn’t Jewish. “He’s not one of them, is he?” Gibson asked as he stumbled toward the open bar, “Because we va new hurr anna datsa from.”

Shortly thereafter Gibson passed out in the punch. We’re still not completely sure where he was or why. There’s no way to tell for sure, sadly.

ALLOD Correspondelator Tara Newhole says DeNiro had no idea any of that happened, and other than “that Jesus movie and the show with the nerdy guy from Lost,” he had never been in the same room with Caviezel.

Caviezel was replaced with Jim from The Office, who wasn’t tapped for Fantastic Four. God Bless America.

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