If you start at Clint Eastwood, and wanted to play “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” to get to the actual Kevin Bacon, you’d only need one: Mystic River.  Bacon started, and the High Plains Drifter directed.

However, to get to Bacon’s response to being cast as the new “Dirty Harry” for the upcoming reboot of the series, you’d need only one line of dialogue from that movie :

“No.”

According to assistant producer and line masseuse Joseph Barron, Bacon was less than thrilled when he saw the script to the first film, “Dirty Harry and the Whorehouse of Doom”.

“Kevin was extremely concerned that the movie seemed very ‘woke’, as it were.  There’s several black and Latino characters, one being his Sargent in the film.  And he/she’s very kind and concerned for his welfare.”

The proposed movie series has the potential to make billions for beleaguered MGM, especially since their Paramount arm decided to cancel Star Trek : Lower Decks after the 5th season, the bastards.

Word has it that tough-guy actor John Cusack is being considered next for the role, but there are already worries about schedule conflicts concerning “Better Off Dead 2”.

And what about Harry himself, Clint Eastwood?  Well, he was last seen talking to a chair in a crowded room, so, you know, screw that.

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