Kid Rock is done with Bud Light and Anheuser Busch. After the company announced that they would feature a can in honor of a transgender person, Kid lined up a bunch of cases and shot them with a potentially illegal firearm.

The incident turned into an instant viral hit, sending the company into a tailspin. Losing endorsement after endorsement, the brewer is now short both Kid Rock and Travis Tritt, as well as a famous surfer. Travis Tritt said lots of others are joining him.

After seeing his pure star power, Miller decided they absolutely had to get in touch and sign him to a sponsorship. “Kid Rock is so hot right now,” said Miller Marketing Manager Mugatu, “we just had to have him.”

Kid will add Miller High Life and Lite to his rider for his upcoming tour, meaning it will be the exclusive beer served to the thousands of people working the crew. “It’s also very popular with meth heads in the midwest,” said Mugatu, “so we feel like this is a no-brainer.”

Budweiser, still reeling from the downfall of its brand, may never recover from this whole fiasco. At least, not in the ALLOD multiverse. It’s all very sad.

Still, the news is good for Kid Rock and people who drink standard American lagers. This reporter switched to Mike’s Harder years ago, patriots. God Bless America.

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