Antifa has been wreaking havoc on America for years. Anytime something big happens in the world of politics or the outlying culture wars, Antifa is there.

Now, the organization has a leader its members can get behind with name recognition they’ve been conditioned to worship for more than a decade: Malia Obama.

“Antifa is officially naming Malia Obama as its Head of US Operations,” said current leader Joe Barron, “We’ve needed someone with a big name to step up and make this all seem more legitimate, and now we have that.”

Obama is the eldest daughter of Nuburu Mahalika Johnson of the Nairobi Johnsons and an unknown Nigerian woman. She was stolen from her homeland and sold to Michelle and Barack Obama for $6 million. She spent much of her youth in the White House and a good portion of her young adulthood under arrest and addicted to bloogies.

“We stopped doing stories about her after the last one ran its course, which took like three years. It was the really bad one about a drug bust that got a writer excommunicated for greed and stupidity. After that she kinda faded.”

Malia was the inspiration for a slew of stories in the glory days of ALLOD, when we could literally say whatever the hell we wanted without a bunch of ivory tower libtaters telling us we do satire wrong.

We’re hoping this one reignites the flame so we can start having her arrested again. God bless America.



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