The New York Times has confirmed that the Hunter Biden Laptop was dropped off by Hunter himself in Delaware. New video footage should be in our next article. Now they say the laptop is so incriminating, Merrick Garland himself is involved.

Sources inside the Justice Department say that Garland is extremely sad that he has to prosecute Hunter Biden, because the two are “good friends and yachting buddies.” He will, however, have to lock people up if he finds evidence of criminal activity.

“I’ll lock him up. If I find anything. I hope I won’t.” This will be the first investigation taken on personally by the United States Attorney General since Lyndon Bellyman Thompson, known more popularly as Joe Barron, prosecuted the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln in 1864.

Garland says he knows people are going to jail, and that he hopes his other pal, President Joe Biden, pardons him before he gets his ass tossed out of office by Ron DeSantis in 2025.

Which is sadly unfortunate and probably the most realistic thing this reporter has ever said. God Bless America.

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