Mike Pence Will Testify Against Trump

Former Vice President Mike Pence will reportedly take the stand and testify against Donald Trump for up to three hours.

According to a congressional scribe whose job it is to keep track of all committee and hearing attendance lists, Pence is listed as “witness for the prosecution,” requested by former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

Pelosi and Pence are both staying quiet, refusing to answer any questions. Pence is said to be holed up at an exclusive bed and breakfast near the US Capital under Secret Service Protection. Pelosi was last seen at a margarita festival just outside San Diego.

Donald Trump is said to be in Bedminster, New Jersey, awaiting word that he’s been reinstated.

Adam Schiff and Chuck Schumer may be responsible for Pence’s sudden appearance on the docket. They insisted he testify and called on his “moral character” to tell the truth. AOC and the squad surely had something to do with all of this, but exactly what is a mystery so far.

Pence is expected to testify that Trump is a narcissistic moron who was easily convinced by other con artists to start the Big Lie. Which we all know is untrue. Trump was perfectly capable of starting it all by himself.

His daughter, who said she knew it was a lie, may also be on the Democrats’ side.

We’ll keep you posted. God bless America.