Monica Lewinski claims Hillary Clinton tried to have her killed not once but twice in an exclusive interview with ALLOD. Lewinsky is the infamous intern who gave former President Bill Clinton a hummer in the Oval Office, for which he was impeached.  Clinton’s wife set out on a vendetta, says Lewinski, to have her killed.

“The first time was outside my apartment. A man approached and said I should have thrown away the blue dress. He pulled out one of those piano wire things and he was going to strangle me, but the neighbor came outside with a shotgun and killed him for breaking into her house and ruining her piano. The second time was a high-powered rifle while I was riding a go-cart at Coney Island. I took a round to the shoulder and was told to stay quiet for national security reasons. I still don’t know what that means, but a Lieutenant told me Hillary shut the investigation down because it would lead back to her.”

Lewinsky says she kept the information secret until now because Hillary made threats against her only living relative, her Aunt Trudy, who passed away last Tuesday at 107.

We asked Monica Lewinsky’s spokesman to comment, but she refused. In the past, Lewinsky has been known to have unkind words for Lewinski, who seems to be fairly delusional. Born in 1997, she wasn’t really quite alive enough, and her name seems to be a cruel joke by her parents, obvious assholes.

The Clintons haven’t responded to requests for comment. Probably because they know better, and we didn’t actually ask.

God bless America.

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