On the J. Barron veranda of the White House this morning, President Joe Biden addressed the collected press corps on the goings on of the nation and the coming New Years Eve celebrations tonight with aplomb.
“Here’s to everyone here, gathering with their families and loved ones. Watching some fireworks. Eating some snacks. Everyone have a great new 2023!”
The flub, yet another insignificant misstatement, was responded to as a joke by the reporters, who chuckled lightly and began wrapping up their equipment.
“That was just Biden being Biden on purpose,” said CNN’s White House humper Juan Toblumpkin. “He’s making fun of how the right wing sees him is all.”
A few other journalists disagreed, however. Like Ho Inaminiskirt, Fox News’s lead Deep State Investigator.
“That was just more proof of my Deep State theory that Biden and his satanic minions are definitely using secret alien technology to reverse time back one year. See, this way, the next election will never come. Ever. He’ll be President for life.”
Truth Social, the media platform started by former disgraced President Trump, was abuzz after the gaff, with many who agreed with the insightful Ho, including head honcho and registered sex offender Donald Trump himself.
“They’re rigging the election again,” he wrote in a post repeated eighty times. “This time travel garbage is unamerican and communist and just plain piss flavored.”
There is absolutely no evidence that time travel actually exists, however. Except maybe for Keanu Reeves. Guy never seems to age.
