President Joe Biden is the Coronovirus’ worst nightmare. His mandate for vaccinations has saved countless lives, and the only people still being unceremoniously ambulanced to the hospital are those “free thinking” YouTube warblers who think the vaccines have some kind of mind-control goop in them that change your DNA until you’re a Ferengi.
Got vaccine – is now “Wolvanana.” Solid. Saw it on “Rumble.”
Now the silly senior supervisor has the NFL in his sights. After recent news stories detailing NBA all-stars getting sacked and coaches refusing on the grounds of “I’m a superhuman”, Biden is laying down the law on sports teams, as a whole, getting vaccinated.
“Listen, you people, you football players. I demand that you get your jabs immediately and unequivocally. We just don’t have time to wait and wait for these assorted numbnuts to wobble themselves to the local Piggly Wiggly. The NFL is a business. So let’s get going here. Come on.”
Sandy Batt, spokesperson for : “Not in My Arm Bitch”, an anti-vaxx group with a 300-strong Facebook group, says this edict amounts to Communist dictatorship, and somehow, institutionalized socialist rape.
“We don’t know what’s in these so-called vaccines, mister President. We’re not taking them. Not a Dolphin nor a Bill nor a Colorado Rocky. There’s no danger, and nobody’s falling for the Democrats trying to control everyone anymore. Control, Control, control, that’s what it’s all about. Enough.”
“Pretty soon they’ll be making us buy pumpkin spiced DOGS! LIBERALS!”
Batt then dropped unconscious and was rushed to the Queefbury hospital nearby to be treated for Covid 19.
The new mandate will begin with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, both because Ron DeSantis, governor of Florida is some kind of vaccine “Man of LaMancha”, punching at imaginary windmills during a rain of actual bullets, and because I, unfortunately, live here.
Does this “forced” mandate disrupt you sitting at home watching games, or is it yet another satirical nonsense article designed to make senior conservative blumpkins wet themselves? If I were you, I’d lay out some newspaper, folks.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
29 PEOPLE WORE A MAGA MASK!