The NFL has finally ended the years-long debate over whether or not football players should be able to express their opinions and openly protest on the field. Until now, the decision has been left to individual teams.

“We had to put an end to this once and for all,” said League Deputy Commissioner Joe Barron, “It’s been nearly a decade of this. Isn’t it time to move on?”

The kneeling was started by Colin Kaepernick who said he was doing it to protest the killing of unarmed black men by police, but conservative media has exposed the truth: Kaepernick hates the troops.

“As far as we can tell, he hates anyone in any kind of uniform,” said Barron, “which is ironic since he still wants to play.” No teams have expressed an interest in allowing the aging former QB in their locker room.

The hatred toward Kaepernick might have been lessened had he taken an interest in how his protest might affect veterans. Had he actually talked to one, they might have told him that when he sat down it seemed disrespectful, but taking a knee shows proper etiquette while still allowing for protest.

“Yeah but that’s what actually happened,” Kaep told Cindy, “I literally did that. I kneel because it’s the last thing a fallen soldier’s family experiences on behalf of a grateful nation as a high-ranking official presents them with a burial flag.”

Unfortunately, logic and reason don’t factor into right-wing politics, Kaep. You’re a traitor. Deal with it. God Bless America.

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *