Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and other Democrats have drafted a bill to eliminate the electoral college, a move seen as extreme and to aid democrats into a 2020 victory.

The idea has been picking up steam for the last few years after Donald Trump won the electoral college after losing the popular vote to Hillary Clinton by over 3,000,000 votes.

The idea is to make the popular vote the actual vote instead of what they call an outdated system, put in place so people in less populated areas could be seen as equal to those in more populated areas.

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer were overheard talking about the bill saying “Aren’t you tired of uneducated pig farmers from some Midwest wasteland state thinking they’re just as important as California?” We went to interview midwestern pig farmers but couldn’t get past the smell, and cell service is shoddy at best in Nebraska.

While it’s true that Blue States contribute more to the country than Red States, let us not forget what those states gave us. Serial killers and weirdos and the midwestern accent, especially in the northern plains that soothes as much as nails on a chalkboard.

What really sets the Midwest apart from the rest is the bland food, the fact that there is nothing there but frozen winters and cows and the disgusting diet of beer, brats and cheese, and the confederate flag waving even though they’re nowhere near the south.

Eliminating the Electoral College would almost promise that uneducated hicks would still have a vote but wouldn’t be more important than votes on either of the coasts.  But don’t tell them that  that sense of entitlement amongst them that they swear they don’t have, taking it away will hurt their feelings so much that fat guys with guns will dress up like paramilitary members and scream about being oppressed.

Trump loves the uneducated, and they certainly are just that.


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