Roseanne Barr has had enough of hearing stories that she won her show back and that her entire career has been restored. According to her attorney, she’s doing something about it.

“She can’t attack the satire stories themselves,” said Joe Barron ESQ, “but she can make them true. Then what?”

After the recent success of her standup routine and a slew of offers for new shows that may or may not actually happen, the suit that will both embarrass ABC and give her control of the jerks who refused to back her when she went a little racist will put an end to this nonsense once and for all.

“We don’t think she has a case,” said ABC Programming Director Art Tubolls, “she clearly broke her contract. We litigated this years ago. It’s pretty much nonsense.”

Barr’s attorneys disagree. With as popular as Roseanne is right now it might be a great time to put something like this in motion. “What jury will deny her now?”

The case is set to begin in a Los Angeles courtroom later on this week. We’ll be sure to cover the whole thing, patriots, so you don’t miss a beat.

This could really be it for Roseanne. It doesn’t really matter if you think she’s a talentless hack who got famous by yelling all the time and needs a lecture about common decency. Loving her owns the libs. God bless that, and God Bless America.

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