Whoopi Goldberg won’t be re-signed to the view next season, according to an exclusive report from Patriot Party Press. We’re now hearing reports that she will be replaced with Sarah Silverman, who is a well-known leftist loon, but very pretty.

Silverman will bring “true comedy” back to the show, according to Executive Producer Joe Barron. “Sarah has a special way about her. She can make abortion funny, which isn’t easy to do.”

Silverman has been an outspoken advocate for all things leftist for many years. She was also possibly involved in the riots in St. Louis, Louisville, Orlando, and Portland, Oregon. Her publicist says those reports are fabricated, but you never can tell with these people.

Whoopi was suspended for two weeks recently for hating the Jews, and won’t be coming back. That’s great news, says Marg Shiffenzplot of Reno, “She’s terrible. I pray something horrible happens to her.” Marg is a true Christian, praying for Whoopi like that.

Joy Behar says she’s okay with the changes, as long as her friend Whoopi doesn’t mind stepping down. “Sarah is a funny and informed woman,” said Behar, “and also much prettier than our average host over the years.”

We took a poll of conservative men between the ages of 18 and 49 and concluded that Silverman is definitely hotter than Elizabeth Hasselbeck, but most would choose Hasselbeck for her politics and because she’d be far more likely to do as she’s told.

 

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