Scott Baio won’t see another birthday. That’s the news from his estate in Kelpington< Montana, where he and his wife Chartruse have spent the past two years battling her brain tumor.

Unfortunately, Baio has a condition called “superlioritis alifactus bullitis” that allows his body to manifest the illnesses of others after prolonged exposure. Often called “The Bullhonkey Disease,” it’s the fourth rarest illness in the country and sixth rarest in the world.

Typically, doctors who catch the disease early enough can reverse it. A man from Indianapolis was beginning to show the signs of lung cancer after spending six weeks in a hospital room with his dying wife. Doctors moved him to the pediatric wing, and in just a few weeks he was scampering around the ward with a mild case of leukemia.

“We kept downgrading the disease until he was basically suffering from the common cold,” said Dr, Joe Barron, “unfortunately, the effect also worked on his immunity and he died of Covid.”

Baio doesn’t have that option, says Barron. “Scott is in the end stages of brain cancer and will likely be gone within a month,” he said.

Baio took to Instagram and recorded a grainy video thanking his fans for all they’ve done, apologizing to Nicole Eggert and the dorky kid for abusing them, and wishing Donald Trump luck in the upcoming election.

“I’m putting in my ballot now, Mr. President,” he said as he finished his farewell. His vote will definitely not count, but at least he meant well.

God Bless you, Scott Baio. And God Bless America.

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