Stormy Daniels messed up big time when she held a press conference to discuss the pending charges against former President Donald Trump. During the question and answer portion of the event, she admitted that she “withheld information,” which makes her a liar.

“Daniels has had every opportunity to tell the truth,” said Josh Hawley, “why isn’t she under arrest right now for attempting to discredit an American hero?”

Hawley wasn’t alone in his condemnation of her behavior. “If she’s going to admit she’s a liar,” said Senator Rand Paul, “then just drop this whole thing.”

Democrats were eager to point out that Daniels hasn’t disclosed what information she withheld, but that doesn’t matter. “She lied,” said Lauren Boebert, “she should be in prison for life.”

We reached out to Ms. Daniels who informed us that the information has been released to Vanity Fair and that while she technically “lied,” it wasn’t really a “lie.” Whatever that means.

“I kept some things out of the press on purpose for the day I get to describe his little mushroom on the stand,” she said, “I also kept some of the juicier details for my book.”

Trump has condemned her publicly for making money from something so personal, even though he denies their encounter ever happened, or that he has a sad little mushy penis.

“All she knows is lies,” said Trump, “why should this be any different.” The email he sent out informing his base of her lies has reportedly raked in $4.7 million. God Bless America.

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