A new report from the Citizens United National Trust Society shows the DNC has an expenditure they have a hard time explaining. Hillary Clinton, who holds no position other than “Superdelegate,” gets a lump sum from the committee for $4.6 million per year. Sources now reveal that her paycheck is to keep her from running for office.

DNC lobbyist Joe Barron, who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity but was declined, said Clinton wants very much to re-enter the political arena and believes she could easily make her way back into the US Senate or maybe even the White House. The DNC believes that having her as a public figure again would just bring the same people out of the woodwork that came out in 2016.

So they pay her to stay home. She collects her cash and has people who do her wrong murdered from the comfy Westchester burbs. The count is now officially up to 216, 219 if you include the people invented by satirists.

Clinton refused our request for comment, once again bringing up that silly restraining order thing. We never went close to her house, patriots, and the kid we sent with a free pizza wasn’t listed on the court docket, so no harm no foul.

God bless America.

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