Transgender Kindergarten Teacher Arrested in Plot to Assassinate Ron DeSantis

A Kindergarten teacher from Des Moines Iowa is in federal custody after undercover agents from the FBI’s domestic terrorist unit discovered her plan to kill Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. DeSantis, who isn’t expected to be in Iowa anytime soon, was targeted for his right-wing views on transgender people and his “extremist sense of being.”

That seems fairly odd coming from someone who was plotting a pretty extreme response to DeSantis’ politics. According to the US Marshals Service, the suspect had plans to the Sunshine State’s governor’s mansion and may have been plotting to use them. “There were very specific things drawn on the governor’s bedroom, for example, that say things like ‘burn this.’ It leads us to believe that the accused was planning to infiltrate and kill DeSantis.”

The woman was identified as Karen Detmeyer, 30, from Barron’s Batt, Iowa. The small town just miles outside of Artubolls is a liberal stronghold in an otherwise sea of Republicans. State Police have surrounded the burrough and aren’t letting anyone out without proper identification and a thorough search.

Detmeyer is being held without bail at the Garmanatchee Maharachi Lassachee Wachee Tribal holding facility until she can be transferred somewhere with a less ridiculous name. Rumor has it that the area’s settlers invented the gibberish moniker in 1857 and the town council refuses to rename it out of concern for heritage, not hate.