Anheuser Busch is left with no choice but to discontinue and rebrand Bud Light after the disastrous marketing campaign with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney went horribly wrong.

“There’s no coming back from this,” said Vice President of Budweiser Brands Joe Barron, “that’s pretty clear now.”

Since the beginning of the controversy, the day Kid Rock shot a bunch of beer with an automatic weapon, Bud Light has been in a freefall of decay. Nascar dropped it. Kid Rock’s tour eliminated it from its rider. Sales dropped 80 percent and the company lost $800 million in a single day.

The move also cost the CEO, Sandy Jeridusky, his cushy job. The entire marketing team was also fired.

More recently, the company was forced to dump out over a million gallons of unsold expired keg beer. They also have more than a million “trans cans” they don’t know what to do with.

All told, there’s no way to really know how much the company actually lost. The stock continued to plummet at last check, down more than 130 points to close under $60 for the first time in decades.

All of this was because they wanted to be “inclusive.” The company could have revived Spuds McKenzie or gone back to those wonderful “real men of genius” ads that appealed to morons everywhere.

Bud Light was never a good beer. Shitty lagers need good marketing to survive. Unfortunately for Bud Light, those days are over. God Bless America.


No comments yet. Why don’t you start the discussion?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *